Book Review: I read Ice Planet Barbarians so you don’t have to
I lost brain cells from reading Ice Planet Barbarians, but at least I had fun making this read with me video. Enjoy or criticize my criticism of the scifi standards I set for steamy books, I accept full responsibility for the ridiculousness of that statement.
I warned you. But, you know, if you still want to read it... https://amzn.to/42w0MJD
Full review:
as expected, there are blue aliens
Alright, is it clear I maybe expected too much from my smut? yes. yes it is.
- Actually, I had no expectations and it still somehow was worse
- There are no chapters, but there are parts? and the breaks don't actually make logistical sense
- writing is, surprise, subpar (descriptions - still not sure what this blue alien looks like. does he have tusks? do they get in the way when he's going down on her? did someone edit this book? how is there plot enough to make this into a series?)
- was *that scene with dominique* necessary? I don't care if you've been reading a lot of dark romance lately, if you räpê a character and then kill her off, i'm gonna have issues. *especially* when it has NO stake in the (ish)plot
- these girls are horrible to one another. they didn't go for survival, they went SACRIFICIAL
- ARE YOU DUMB? EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHERS KNOW WHAT THAT NUB IS FOR... the answer is yes, Georgie is a useless main and besides being unfortunate enough to be the most healthy to be sacrificed to Not-Hoth's elements, she brings nothing to the table
- THE LAST SCENE. He's balls deep in her, the spaceship of kidnapping aliens comes so they pause the sexy times (and REMAINS BALLS DEEP IN HER), the bad aliens hover for a second, then fly off... now Georgie and Vektal can finish. this scene is living in my head and I am demanding rent. or a brain wipe
- the fact that this literally became "open season" for those males and the rescued females. what the actual fuck.
Are my scifi standards too high in my smut? also, yes.
- language barriers when you write from more than one POV.... and then try to have a character speak words that exist in both languages in English and... yeah it doesn't work.
- they are different species, yet he sees this new species and **knows** "female", "thighs", "nipples", "sex", etc.
- the quote "That was scary as hell" in alien language. which means that there exists an underworld with these aliens' culture and they call it the same that humans do
rant over. maybe. idk, i am dumber after reading this
